Hard To Explain

  

We will be performing in front of an audience in four days time. Full house I heard. Over the past few weeks I have been giving several interviews regarding how I feel to play an iconic role, that of the late Mdm Kwa Geok Choo.

It’s hard to explain.

To make a comeback to stage after 12 years, with a high profile and much anticipated production, is possibly one of the bravest thing I have committed to in my life. Needless to say, I am subjecting myself to being one of the many topics you will be chatting about over dinner. You might or might not hurt me with your words. In all sincerity, I have tried my very best. There is no time for regrets.

I just close my eyes, and I leap.

I have had the privilege of working alongside a group of young and talented (and caring) actors whose love for theatre reminded me of how I used to be back in my school days, where I lived and died for my drama club. They rekindled my passion for performing. It was nothing about being famous. It was all about giving and receiving, under the magical lights and sounds, it was about living in the present, till curtain falls.

Intense. Love. and so much heart. I want to give all the boys and the beautiful Jo Tan a huge hug to convey the respect and admiration I have for you.

To be treated as equal, in the company of good men. #LuckyMe. #VoteYesForCarrotsandBroccoli.

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To Adrian, my Mr Lee, why you did not protest when you knew I was your Mrs Lee is just one of the many reasons why you are an amazing and generous human being. You could have partnered a much more credible leading lady, instead you anchor the show and nudge, jostle, push me to be better. Under stress, yet with a huge sense of humour. Thank you for the laughter. Thank you for keeping me sane in this ride of a life time. You are awesome and I am certain the company of The LKY Musical shares the same sentiment.

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(Mr Clark, I miss you already.)

Dex, Stephen, Tony, Dick, Alvin, Michelle, Bailey, Bianca, Choon Hiong, Gaurav, Elaine, Wendy, Professor Haymon, Joanne, Matthew, cast and crew, thank you. It’s been a real privilege. I just want to say this before the madness begins.

This is how I truly feel. I don’t care anymore about saying things that make me look weak or unworthy. Life is too short to hide behind a mask.

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The way we loved.

In the last four years and four months, since I returned to Singapore, I braved one of the most demanding period of my (almost) 40 years of existence.

You are resilient you put on layers of armour, but one can never be too prepared for a stormy ride, such as this. And I was right, I loved and I fell. I gave my all and I fell. I fell over and over again.

Such is the story of our lives, I am pretty sure we are going through more or less the same uncontrollable adventures. I certainly have enough dose of self-pity. The thing about reflection in writing is that deep inside, I long for hope again.

The way I ache for the first kiss, the first touch, when souls connect.

At the end of the day, nothing makes sense, except what we stand for and the way we loved. C’est tout.

I know I am a weak leading lady, well, even in my own life story. But I tried. And thank you for letting me try. I will try and try again. I would rather do that than hide in my closet forever. Definitely much safer in there, no? But what do I have left in my memories, when I turn to ashes and dusts. Rien.

Chasing the dream, day and night.

I had a brilliant time. Ride of my life. And I am grateful, as always, to the many people whom I have had the opportunity to cross paths with and to learn from. I love you all so much.

I have taken the blows, so now let me recover my confidence. No judgement.

Let people wonder, let them laugh let them frown.

Why try to change me now?

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40 Is The New Black.

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I am turning 40 in about 7 weeks I am feeling fabulous.

It seems to me, life has only just begun. It is so exciting (and hectic) that I often find myself too nervous to eat. But I am constantly reminded, that I have to nourish myself with food,honey and water, or else I would not have the energy and stamina to keep up with the pace. So I entice myself with comfort food, such as my Nespresso Roma and Nutella in the morning, (yes I eat Nutella with a spoon sans bread), boiled carrots and broccoli for lunch, and a glass of my favourite red for dinner. As you can see, I prefer to always stay some what hungry. It keeps me yearning. And yearning gives me something to look forward to.

Honoured to be on the cover of Elle Singapore this month. It has been 11 years since I last graced Elle’s cover and I must admit, I do age quite well. More importantly, I have never been more comfortable with being me, flaws and all.

As I sit outside on my balcony, typing away, listening to the crashing of the waves, distant flickering lights of the ships beckon to me, my silent companions.

How lovely life can be.

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Failure Builds Character

A little dissent is good, especially when standing up for the right thing. A failure or two is good, especially if it teaches one to be resilient to disappointments.

“Gentle in winning, stronger in defeat”. A line in The LKY Musical that struck a chord in me.

When pride gets in the way, I failed to see the big picture.
When blinded by ignorance, we ridicule and condemn without logic.
When one is stuck in the moment, only prayers, family and community could provide me with the release of anguish.

Hence, we move on. And in the process we learn and we grow.

Would I give myself a pass? Never. I am and have always been my own worst critic.
But we must not be defined by our worst moments. We can hate some things we have done, but do respect ourselves for everything good we have done in our complicated lives.

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Love Will Play Its Part.

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Today my vocal coach Professor Haymon said to me, see Sharon, you are learning how to sing.

I replied, no, I am learning to live.

In the past 26 vocal sessions with Alvin and Professor Haymon, I was constantly reminded to breathe and to let go. Two things I fail to do, when I sing.

The same two flaws of mine, in life. And I see that now. I am often out of breath, and I hold on tightly to everything, rarely letting things pass.

Now that I am so blessed and privileged to be part of this passionate team, I am determined to live this experience to the fullest. Peel away, the layers of protective facades, and see the raw youth I once laughed at. I am ready to be ridiculed.

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The LKY Musical. Opens 21 July 2015, at the MasterCards Theatres, Marina Bay Sands. Tickets from SISTIC http://www.sistic.com.sg/events/lky0815

I’ll be there.

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For All We Are, Is How We Live.

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As I grieve with the world on the passing of Mr Lee Kuan Yew, I often pause to think how would he want us to remember him.
I grew up in a poor family but I was able to enjoy world class education, and was given many opportunities in the course of my work. The best way to honour him, to me, is to fight for what you believe in and live your passion.

I hope we will always remember how far we have come on this amazing Singapore journey, and remain inspired by all that he achieved.

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The Sun Never Sets.

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“As we mourn his passing, let us also honour his spirit” — Prime Minister Lee.

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I didn’t want to let go of his hand then. Have to let go now.

Thank you, Mr Lee Kuan Yew.

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