The LKY Musical

This is for you, who missed The LKY Musical ‘s love theme, So Simple.
Thank you Metropolitan Productions (Bianca, Choon Hiong, Alvin) and Jacqueline Khoo for this video.
And to the one and only Adrian Pang, thank you for the love.

Full DVD out soon watch this space.

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Lost And Found.

Some songs haunt you. Because it is attached to a certain memory, that vividly replays in the mind. The sort that makes you shiver in longing.

We can’t turn back time. It’s over it’s over.

Look ahead. Life, is gut-wrenching. And will take your breath away. Love, with all your guts and soul. I learned that being vulnerable can lead to heart-rending and intense sensations.

“I was like a satellite spinning away
Almost lost forever and leaving no trace
Floating through the darkest reaches of space”–Unstoppable.

Some connections, you can’t explain.

We gave our best, all 35 performances of The LKY Musical. We said a good goodbye. But I have been waking up with a heartache. The past six weeks or so I lived on love. You kept me going. I embrace this pain with no regrets. You know what this is? This is the sound of a heart breaking. This is love. I will miss you, I already do. I will miss the stage. I belong there.

Yours Choo-ly.

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Scene of the day –BIRDMAN

   
 Tabitha: It doesn’t matter, I’m gonna destroy your play. 

Riggan: But you didn’t even see it. Did I do something to offend you? 

Tabitha: As a matter of fact, you did. You took off space on theater wich otherwise might have been used on something worthwile. 

Riggan: Okay… well. I mean, you don’t even know if it’s any good or not… I didn’t… 

Tabitha: That’s true; I haven’t read a word of it or even seen the preview. But after the opening tomorrow I’m gonna turn in the worst review anyone has ever read and I’m gonna close your play. Would you like to know why? Because I hate you and everyone you represent. Entitled, selfish, spoiled children. Blissfully untrained, unversed and unprepared to even attempt real art. Handing each other awards for cartoons and pornography. Measuring your worth in weekends? Well this is the theater and you don’t get to come in here and pretend you can write, direct and act in your own propaganda piece without coming through me first. So break a leg. 

Riggan: Wow. You know… What has to happen in a person’s life to become a critic anyway? What are you writing? Another review? Is that any good? Is it? Did you even see it? Let me read it. 

Tabitha: I will call the police! 

Riggan: Call the police… let’s read your fuckin’ review. “Lacklustre…” That’s just labels. Marginality… You kidding me? Sounds like you need penicillin to clear that up. That’s a label. That’s all labels. You just label everything. That’s so fuckin’ lazy… You just… You’re a lazy fucker. You know what this is? You even know what that is? You don’t, You know why? Because you can’t see this thing if you don’t have to label it. You mistake all those little noises in your head for true knowledge. 

Tabitha: Are you finished? 

Riggan: No! I’m not finished! There’s nothing here about technique! There’s nothing in here about structure! There’s nothing in here about intentions! It’s just a bunch of crappy opinions, backed up by even crappier comparisons… You write a couple of paragraphs and you know what? None of this cost you fuckin’ anything! The Fuck! You risk nothing! Nothing! Nothing! Nothing! I’m a fucking actor! This play cost me everything… So I tell you what, you take this fucked malicious cowardly shitty written review and you shove that right the fuck up your wrinkly tight ass. 

Tabitha: You’re no actor, you’re a celebrity. Let’s be clear on that. I’m gonna kill your play.

My thoughts on this:
Despite what many may think, we should practise editorial independence. Yes, best to prove the detractors wrong with deeds. Don’t, however, misquote me. Don’t write out of context. You have a point or two and I respect that. Let’s not pretend to be objective when there is no objectivity. Enough.

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Les Pas des Amants Désunis

I always write when I am overwhelmed by emotions. When I couldn’t breathe and had no choice but to pen down the waves of thoughts in my head somewhere. This is my therapy. Stay calm and write.

Nous avons une histoire très spéciale c’est destin que tu sois toujours dans mon coeur.

La vie est toujours beaucoup plus compliquée qu’on ne l imagine et si tout le monde est dans cette situation…
Le monde est un ensemble de relations compliquées où rien n’est exactement comme ça devrait.

Love, you are my drug and I am your silly goose.

Think of me, as often as you can.

That’s all we have left. Think of me.

S/W Ver: 99.51.05A

S/W Ver: 99.51.05A

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Hard To Explain

  

We will be performing in front of an audience in four days time. Full house I heard. Over the past few weeks I have been giving several interviews regarding how I feel to play an iconic role, that of the late Mdm Kwa Geok Choo.

It’s hard to explain.

To make a comeback to stage after 12 years, with a high profile and much anticipated production, is possibly one of the bravest thing I have committed to in my life. Needless to say, I am subjecting myself to being one of the many topics you will be chatting about over dinner. You might or might not hurt me with your words. In all sincerity, I have tried my very best. There is no time for regrets.

I just close my eyes, and I leap.

I have had the privilege of working alongside a group of young and talented (and caring) actors whose love for theatre reminded me of how I used to be back in my school days, where I lived and died for my drama club. They rekindled my passion for performing. It was nothing about being famous. It was all about giving and receiving, under the magical lights and sounds, it was about living in the present, till curtain falls.

Intense. Love. and so much heart. I want to give all the boys and the beautiful Jo Tan a huge hug to convey the respect and admiration I have for you.

To be treated as equal, in the company of good men. #LuckyMe. #VoteYesForCarrotsandBroccoli.

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To Adrian, my Mr Lee, why you did not protest when you knew I was your Mrs Lee is just one of the many reasons why you are an amazing and generous human being. You could have partnered a much more credible leading lady, instead you anchor the show and nudge, jostle, push me to be better. Under stress, yet with a huge sense of humour. Thank you for the laughter. Thank you for keeping me sane in this ride of a life time. You are awesome and I am certain the company of The LKY Musical shares the same sentiment.

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(Mr Clark, I miss you already.)

Dex, Stephen, Tony, Dick, Alvin, Michelle, Bailey, Bianca, Choon Hiong, Gaurav, Elaine, Wendy, Professor Haymon, Joanne, Matthew, cast and crew, thank you. It’s been a real privilege. I just want to say this before the madness begins.

This is how I truly feel. I don’t care anymore about saying things that make me look weak or unworthy. Life is too short to hide behind a mask.

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The way we loved.

In the last four years and four months, since I returned to Singapore, I braved one of the most demanding period of my (almost) 40 years of existence.

You are resilient you put on layers of armour, but one can never be too prepared for a stormy ride, such as this. And I was right, I loved and I fell. I gave my all and I fell. I fell over and over again.

Such is the story of our lives, I am pretty sure we are going through more or less the same uncontrollable adventures. I certainly have enough dose of self-pity. The thing about reflection in writing is that deep inside, I long for hope again.

The way I ache for the first kiss, the first touch, when souls connect.

At the end of the day, nothing makes sense, except what we stand for and the way we loved. C’est tout.

I know I am a weak leading lady, well, even in my own life story. But I tried. And thank you for letting me try. I will try and try again. I would rather do that than hide in my closet forever. Definitely much safer in there, no? But what do I have left in my memories, when I turn to ashes and dusts. Rien.

Chasing the dream, day and night.

I had a brilliant time. Ride of my life. And I am grateful, as always, to the many people whom I have had the opportunity to cross paths with and to learn from. I love you all so much.

I have taken the blows, so now let me recover my confidence. No judgement.

Let people wonder, let them laugh let them frown.

Why try to change me now?

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40 Is The New Black.

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I am turning 40 in about 7 weeks I am feeling fabulous.

It seems to me, life has only just begun. It is so exciting (and hectic) that I often find myself too nervous to eat. But I am constantly reminded, that I have to nourish myself with food,honey and water, or else I would not have the energy and stamina to keep up with the pace. So I entice myself with comfort food, such as my Nespresso Roma and Nutella in the morning, (yes I eat Nutella with a spoon sans bread), boiled carrots and broccoli for lunch, and a glass of my favourite red for dinner. As you can see, I prefer to always stay some what hungry. It keeps me yearning. And yearning gives me something to look forward to.

Honoured to be on the cover of Elle Singapore this month. It has been 11 years since I last graced Elle’s cover and I must admit, I do age quite well. More importantly, I have never been more comfortable with being me, flaws and all.

As I sit outside on my balcony, typing away, listening to the crashing of the waves, distant flickering lights of the ships beckon to me, my silent companions.

How lovely life can be.

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