Hard To Explain


We will be performing in front of an audience in four days time. Full house I heard. Over the past few weeks I have been giving several interviews regarding how I feel to play an iconic role, that of the late Mdm Kwa Geok Choo.

It’s hard to explain.

To make a comeback to stage after 12 years, with a high profile and much anticipated production, is possibly one of the bravest thing I have committed to in my life. Needless to say, I am subjecting myself to being one of the many topics you will be chatting about over dinner. You might or might not hurt me with your words. In all sincerity, I have tried my very best. There is no time for regrets.

I just close my eyes, and I leap.

I have had the privilege of working alongside a group of young and talented (and caring) actors whose love for theatre reminded me of how I used to be back in my school days, where I lived and died for my drama club. They rekindled my passion for performing. It was nothing about being famous. It was all about giving and receiving, under the magical lights and sounds, it was about living in the present, till curtain falls.

Intense. Love. and so much heart. I want to give all the boys and the beautiful Jo Tan a huge hug to convey the respect and admiration I have for you.

To be treated as equal, in the company of good men. #LuckyMe. #VoteYesForCarrotsandBroccoli.

styleXstyle EDM-18Jul-v2

To Adrian, my Mr Lee, why you did not protest when you knew I was your Mrs Lee is just one of the many reasons why you are an amazing and generous human being. You could have partnered a much more credible leading lady, instead you anchor the show and nudge, jostle, push me to be better. Under stress, yet with a huge sense of humour. Thank you for the laughter. Thank you for keeping me sane in this ride of a life time. You are awesome and I am certain the company of The LKY Musical shares the same sentiment.



(Mr Clark, I miss you already.)

Dex, Stephen, Tony, Dick, Alvin, Michelle, Bailey, Bianca, Choon Hiong, Gaurav, Elaine, Wendy, Professor Haymon, Joanne, Matthew, cast and crew, thank you. It’s been a real privilege. I just want to say this before the madness begins.

This is how I truly feel. I don’t care anymore about saying things that make me look weak or unworthy. Life is too short to hide behind a mask.

The way we loved.

In the last four years and four months, since I returned to Singapore, I braved one of the most demanding period of my (almost) 40 years of existence.

You are resilient you put on layers of armour, but one can never be too prepared for a stormy ride, such as this. And I was right, I loved and I fell. I gave my all and I fell. I fell over and over again.

Such is the story of our lives, I am pretty sure we are going through more or less the same uncontrollable adventures. I certainly have enough dose of self-pity. The thing about reflection in writing is that deep inside, I long for hope again.

The way I ache for the first kiss, the first touch, when souls connect.

At the end of the day, nothing makes sense, except what we stand for and the way we loved. C’est tout.

I know I am a weak leading lady, well, even in my own life story. But I tried. And thank you for letting me try. I will try and try again. I would rather do that than hide in my closet forever. Definitely much safer in there, no? But what do I have left in my memories, when I turn to ashes and dusts. Rien.

Chasing the dream, day and night.

I had a brilliant time. Ride of my life. And I am grateful, as always, to the many people whom I have had the opportunity to cross paths with and to learn from. I love you all so much.

I have taken the blows, so now let me recover my confidence. No judgement.

Let people wonder, let them laugh let them frown.

Why try to change me now?