Thank You, But No.

Life, is not just about what you stand for, but also what you are against.
I am for courage to pursue one’s own dream. I am for kindness and generosity in helping others achieve their goals.
I am against smearing, lampooning and hurting others. Period. It doesn’t end does it? This cycle of hate and irresponsible gossip. Let’s not pretend to be objective when there is no objectivity. We are real people, when you hurt us we actually do bleed. There is no reason good enough to justify such human behaviour.

For public figures some argue that there is no such thing as privacy, and I have no rebuttal for that, whether that hypothesis is fair or not. In fact I am inclined to agree. But I am not asking for privacy here, I am merely asking for decency.

Well, reaction is easy, understanding is hard. It’s all about the optics anyway. Who looks better, richer, happier. It’s gotten so easy to flaunt, that our empty lives could get away looking well-travelled and fulfilled.

I have fought a few battles in my short 40 years of life, and I must admit, sometimes losing was a relief. Sometimes taking a sabbatical break from the race turned out to be the best decision. And yes, sometimes, saying “thank you, but no” is as cathartic as crying.

It’s never over.

But life is too short to get mad.

(photo credit styled by Daniel Goh)

The way we loved.

In the last four years and four months, since I returned to Singapore, I braved one of the most demanding period of my (almost) 40 years of existence.

You are resilient you put on layers of armour, but one can never be too prepared for a stormy ride, such as this. And I was right, I loved and I fell. I gave my all and I fell. I fell over and over again.

Such is the story of our lives, I am pretty sure we are going through more or less the same uncontrollable adventures. I certainly have enough dose of self-pity. The thing about reflection in writing is that deep inside, I long for hope again.

The way I ache for the first kiss, the first touch, when souls connect.

At the end of the day, nothing makes sense, except what we stand for and the way we loved. C’est tout.

I know I am a weak leading lady, well, even in my own life story. But I tried. And thank you for letting me try. I will try and try again. I would rather do that than hide in my closet forever. Definitely much safer in there, no? But what do I have left in my memories, when I turn to ashes and dusts. Rien.

Chasing the dream, day and night.

I had a brilliant time. Ride of my life. And I am grateful, as always, to the many people whom I have had the opportunity to cross paths with and to learn from. I love you all so much.

I have taken the blows, so now let me recover my confidence. No judgement.

Let people wonder, let them laugh let them frown.

Why try to change me now?