The first thing I did in the year 2018, was to quit my job. On the second day of the new year. I left a company I had been a part of for 22 long years. It was the second best thing I have done in my life thus far. The first was in 2005 when I left a 10-year showbiz career to pursue a university degree in Waseda University, Tokyo. That was without a doubt, the scariest, bravest thing I have done in my life. And, yes, it changed my life. After all, huge risks, are the only ones worth taking.
To anyone who is pondering on whether to stay, or leave…if you are wondering where does this courage come from…this is how I found mine. Twice.
Block out the noise, and listen intently to your own voice. Your body (and soul) has a natural defence mechanism to self-heal. We could not hear them because we are drowned by social construct. I say, purge all the layers of externalities, and for once, have a conversation with just yourself.
I can’t tell you what and how the dialogue will go. We all have different stories. Let your body tell you hers. But I say, don’t wait for a tragedy to strike, before it shakes you to want to live better. A mentor of mine recently bravely fought nose cancer. He was so positive throughout his 33 sessions of chemotherapy he brought laughter to the other patients in therapy. A close friend of mine just suffered a stroke. He goes to the gym every day in the week, eats mostly boiled vegetables and fish, doesn’t smoke. We all have constant reminders like this. We see and hear enough. No one needs to tell us any more, that life is short, vulnerable and unpredictable.
Don’t wait too long to be happy. We might not have the time.
And then, go forth. and never look back.
You said, “there is life and there is work”.
From as long as I could remember work was everything to me. I derived immense pleasure from the challenges I face in the course of my career and I prided myself to being the needle in the haystack, not the haystack.
But as we enter the year 2018, a year which would have me turn 43 years of age, I thought to myself, that I should perhaps choose “life”? And maybe if I see enough and write it down, I would finally remember what it means, to be me. For me, living is a glittering lure, of surprises and opportunities, where you meet people who change your direction, or force you, to take a pause.
Wish me luck as I embark on a new challenge: to love and understand the people in my life, including myself.
Have a joyous 2018, and may we all get better with time.
Life is nothing but a series of hellos and goodbyes. Smile anyway.
I’ve stopped dreaming. I just do. Do all that I’ve been thinking of. Make it happen. I don’t want to play the “what-would-you-do-if-you-have-6-more-months-to-live”- game anymore. I don’t want to die a dreamer.
You will never be ready or ready enough. To make a leap you have to first jump. No amount of preparation will be sufficient. You can weigh all the pros and cons you and your friends can think of. But you will never advance, if you do not make the first step. Jump, and regret later.
The thing is, there is no regret. Once you braved your fears and move from that stationary point you held on to so desperately, you will laugh at how unnecessary your hesitation was. There will be no looking back. I did it. Now your turn.
Everyday we struggle between the sensitivity of art in front of our eyes and the conneries of the world. Parents, there is absolutely no way you can protect your children from materials you deemed inappropriate on TV or online. I encourage you to teach them to be open and discerning instead. I don’t have children hence you might say I have no right to talk about upbringing. Alors i was brought up in one of the worst circumstances myself. When I was 5-7 years old I even stayed with my grandma in a brothel because she ran the place.
And content creators, if you don’t have any point of view, you are just a messenger conveying what everyone already knows. You are wasting our time.
New beginnings are blessings. They come from endings. Remember that.
On my way to Monoprix, my thoughts were startled by a cheerful “Bonjour Sharon!” and I saw Vincent, hands full of groceries, beaming at me. Vincent runs a café which I frequent every morning, just because he makes the best Sharon’s café in the world, 3 shots of espresso, a dollop of crème, and a dash of familiarity.
This is the quality of life I seeked, where you settle into a healthy routine, sans drama. Where you make friends with the boulangere, with the restaurant owner, and maybe your neighbour’s cat. You no longer rush to shop and to visit the crowded places-of-interest, but take your own sweet time to picnic at little charming gardens you chanced upon along the way. Nobody here knows me. I can do whatever I want. I can be comfortable with myself, my plain old unglamorous funny self.
Sometimes, not saying anything at all says everything. I found the strength in keeping quiet at last. I am good to let things end.
Because Alexander Venheijer said, “when a flower doesn’t bloom, you fix the environment in which it grows, not the flower”. So with the same courage I took to leave show business in 2005, I bid farewell again to a toxic relationship with a city, and packed my wounded heart, and my two luggages, for the second time.
Now, your turn.
Strange thing to say I know, but alas, there are stranger things. I wake up to the silence of a Parisian morning in my petite apartment. I listen intently to the thoughts running through my mind. And I find none. I dived deeper in my consciousness into the subconscious. I start to recall last night’s dream in montage. There were scenes of farewells, and tears, and maybe anger. I dreamt they shut down my website, they removed my TVCs, they shut me up, they make me small.
And now I am awake, and it does not matter anymore. Dream or no dream. I am safe. I am big. I am unstoppable.
I need nothing. My new life begins.
The march towards liberation started three months ago. And the universe brought me back to the place where I first knew what passion was. Awakening, it is all about timing.
I went back in time, to Paris. Spirit soared. Love the vibes of the city, light and yet soulful. I took many walks, I hungered for her scent and her lumière.
There I found the inspiration to communicate and to connect. In a deeper way that is. Neither through captions on Instagram, nor via emoji-ranting on Facebook. I am motivated to write, for those of you who are reading this right now.
Some friends told me that my last post “The Art of (Not) Giving Up” was painfully moving. I am glad my words did something for you. The thing is, what one takes away from a piece of confession actually depends on your perspective in approaching the piece. The objective of said blog entry was to motivate people, who like me, found themselves involuntarily stuck in a moment. However it received some unfavourable feedback from certain quarters of my life, who felt I should be more discerning of what I air on my blog, even if it was a personal one.
I guess that was why I have not able to pen my thoughts since, for I was unsure of what might or might not be acceptable, anymore.
We all have our own battles to fight.
But today I’ll say, let us end the inner-struggle. For once in your life, let us go where the heart leads us. We face enough external conflicts everyday. Why then do we still want to fight with ourselves. It is simply not natural.
Don’t tell me what to do. I am tired of following rules. This is my blog. Hear me roar.
She sent me a poem she saw engraved on a park bench, an extrait from Gaston Miron’s La Marche À L’amour:
je marche à toi, je titube à toi, je meurs de toi
lentement je m’affale de tout mon long dans l’âme
je marche à toi, je titube à toi, je bois
à la gourde vide du sens de la vie
je n’attends pas à demain je t’attends
je n’attends pas la fin du monde je t’attends
Love, it is a grand experiment. One that lights up your heart in delight. One that aches your soul with longing. This is the art of waiting.
Choose pleasure, not hurt.
Make love, not hate.
Do not wait for tomorrow, wait for me.
Wait, and hope.