Some things never change. Like in my youth, I suffered from post-production-blues when the curtain fell for the last time on The LKY Musical, exactly a month ago.
I missed every step of the journey. The Marina Bay Sands North carpark, the walk through the food court to arrive at the stage door, the flowers in my secret garden, the aroma that greeted me whenever I opened the door of my dressing room, your sleeping bag, my cushion, my travel blanket, the secret nutellas, the spins, the surprises, the falls, the blood, the tears, the applause, the vocal warm-ups an hour before showtime, Somewhere Over The Rainbow, Bella Signora, Day and Night, my friends, your love. We were in a bubble. Some connections, you cannot explain.
As with all goodbyes, I was reluctant to tears. The gut-wrenching, heart-rending ache was too much to bear, I packed my bags and flew away. An attempt to recover my centre. In my head I kept singing, “Je vole, je vais t’aimer, je veux chanter. (I fly, I will love you, I want to sing) ” .
I was not fleeing.
It was just bizarre this cage that was blocking my chest. I could not breathe it was stopping me from singing. An exclusive emotion.
It all started to change when I breathed you, Italy. You and your friends, inspired me to live free again.
There is no reversal. Let every cell in your body exude love. The universe returns it in mysterious ways. Sing out loud your arias, dance in the piazzas. Find the art of being yourself. You can’t reverse it. If not now, when?
“There is no time for anything inessential”–wrote the late Oliver Sacks. I now know what I do not need and I will not fool myself with it any longer. What I can do more with, is space, and art. You cannot look at such beauty without thinking of the people and of love. Sometimes, we have to go far to discover who we are.
So this is it. Love, is personal. Judge not. I wish for you the kind of passion that revives you. Do not compromise. Before youth leaves you behind. Love recklessly. A song, a scent, a connection. Find your pair. That moment, it is forever.