It’sallinmyhead

I left my soul in Japan.

If it hurts much, it will hurt briefly;

If it hurts long, it does not hurt much.

It’s been 11 months.

You mean, it’s all in my head?

So where’s the serenity?

Ending this is the most horrible thing I can possibly do to myself

(and to you).

Adieu.

“When I speak of an end to suffering

I don’t mean anesthesia

I mean knowing the world and my place in it

Not in order to stare with bitterness or detachment

But as a powerful and womanly series of choices:

And here I write the words, in their fullness:

powerful; womanly.”

      —Adrienne Rich

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9 Comments

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9 responses to “It’sallinmyhead

  1. Gerry

    Beautiful post, thank you.

  2. I understand how it feels. i felt the same way after leaving England, and still feel this way.

    • How long have you been back? Sigh..when can I finally recover from this heartache?

      • I have only been back for 6 months. I miss the lifestyle, my apartment, I miss my friends very much. I miss myself. I feel awful when I miss it so much, because no one back here understands. But we have to make the best out of what we have now, because sulking doesn’t help anyone. x

    • You are right no one here understands. People think I am crazy.

  3. Margaret

    Sharon, it’s me.

    • Ja Young!!!!!!!!!!!!! I miss you I miss cats cradle I miss Waseda I miss Japan oh my god how am I going to survive another 5 years here???? How are you my dear?

  4. CY

    Hi sharon, yes. feel that Japan is like your 2nd home. It is like leaving a place that is full of memories. Just like leaving Primary and Secondary School

  5. Cindy

    Hi Sharon, I lived in Japan for 2.5 years and moved back to Oz last year after the earthquake (I was pregnant with our 2nd child and my husband thought it was best we moved back home). I loved our life in Japan and everything about the country and its culture. I was mentally prepared that I would leave the beautiful country one day. What I didn’t know was how much I would miss it. I miss it more than I thought I would. To the point that after one year, my heart still aches when I think about how much I wish I am still leaving there. So I totally understand how you feel. People around me think I’m crazy too and nobody really understands this feeling.

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