後ろ姿

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Les gens s’unissent et se séparent. On doit l’accepter. Sur la grandiose Grande Place à Brugge, je me noyais dans mon deuil. J’ai fermé les yeux et j’essayais écouter le battement du mon coeur. Mon coeur deçu. Tout passe, tout se lasse, tout casse.

“When things break down you just have to feel your way through.”

You wear red, cos that’s your favourite colour and you look alive in red. You gawk at chocolates cos you can’t resist the temptation of your favourite taste in the world. You go for long walks, in a sea of unknown faces. All by yourself, in a foreign city.

One has no choice but to cling on to one’s sanity as people let you down, inevitably. One by one. There are a few things you can count on in life: CHANGE, heartbreaks, DISAPPOINMENT, death. And the waiting is always the hard part.

I folllow my silhouette with a sense of detachment. There, look at her. かわいそうな後ろ姿。。

And just when I thought it couldn’t get any colder, God gave me snow. Yes it snowed yesterday, my first snow in France. I gazed at the snow from your window, snowflakes dancing to the symphony of the wind. A family of four drinking pamplemousse tea with home-baked cookies reciting lines from Cyrano de Bergerac. We laughed as the family’s pet dog with her pink chewy ball pounced on you with glee. I chuckled as I watched you doze off learning kanji. I basked in the warmth of your love and Aline’s cardigan. I am surrounded by beauty. I am in a painting. I am in heaven. Merci beaucoup de m’avoir donné ces bons souvenirs.

We sang on the way home in the car, loudly and gaily, me in english you in french, my favourite Little Mermaid song..

Si l’hommes marche
Si l’homme court

Si’il peut sur terre rêver au grand jour

COMME J’AIMERAIS, SI JE POUVAIS, PARTIR LÀ-BAS
Je donnerais tout ce que j’ai pour partir d’ici
Pour carresser les grains dorés du sable chaud
Les hommes comprennent
J’en suis certaines
Toutes leure filles peuvent rêver sans frayeur
J’en suis certaines
Femmes sirènes, femmes humaines
J’AI FAIT MON CHOIX
Moi je veux savoir, moi je veux pouvoir
Poser des questions et qu’on me réponde
Qu’est-ce que le feu et pourquoi est-ce qu’il quoi déja…. brûle?
UN JOUR VIENDRA JE PARTIRAI JE PARTIRAI SANS AUCUN REGRET…

Vivre sur terre
Loin de la mer
Partir là-bas

La Petite Sirène.

Mon très cher J, j’ai passé du bon temps, de temps inoubliable, à tes côtés. L’électricté statique…nous avons eu de gros fou-rires ce week-end vraiment!!!

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10 Comments

Filed under crazy, love, Thots

10 responses to “後ろ姿

  1. Hi Qingxian, nice to noe u are well.. miss yr voice in ch 8.Happens to cm across yr bloggie and njoy reading it thou sometimes u writing in jap or french.. thou dun reali understand bt can feel wat u trying to express ^_^ kip it up ya! cheers!
    Lots of Luv, yr spore fan ~ Jann =p

  2. and u are nt alone .. . ^_^

  3. Thank you very much Jann…

  4. U sure looks more radiant than last time.. Cheers!
    Stay Cheerful, Pretty & Healthy always!!!

  5. passerby

    on ne sait pas de quoi demain sera fait.. 至少你曾经拥有…
    Really enjoy reading your blog…take care..

  6. hhuusshh

    (some background before i post comments – never get to read the whole of this blog – was being late to discover this treasure and not as multilingual.. and never get a chance to know you better cos’ i never believe in celebrity gossips etc..)
    so dear negi, i admire you now and then – as a person. like the zillion similar comments here you indeed bring alot alot of joy to sg tv – more than you think you did. maybe is all act but i believe there is jus so much one can do for so long if one is not fit for it. it really feels good to know that people – fellow sg are living life with passion, be it in or not in sg. yes, life is tough. but not living it doesn’t help to make it easier. im thousand miles away from home too, trying to make life more interesting. sg is great, but the world is jus too vast! will not leave ‘wish-you-were-back’ notes cos’ with the many posts i’ve read so far – you love the life you are having now and the joy is making the best out of it. life jus give one time for everyone. hope you are happy always. btw, i like your “enjoy the moment of breathing..” (or something like that in one of your post..)

  7. XOXO

    Disappointments happens because of expectations. Rekindle the good little bits in life when you are feeling cold metaphorically. No matter how tough is the phase, it always passes…blesses!

  8. kel

    wow. very chim (profound) french and jap. but u realli enjoy urself. and that you realli escape from the economic crisis, where thousands lost their jobs, and even more had their pay cut.

    hopefully when u come back after your studies, the economy will recover and you will not be getting low pay.

    so, au revoir and a bientot.

  9. Jac Liew

    元気ですか?

    That look’s pretty familar? Strasbourg?

    The houses and the weather…

    Colmar’s great too… wonder if you were there as well…

    じゃ

    Jac

  10. Jac,
    That’s Brugge, an hour away from Brussels..very very pretty I loved it.

    hhuusshh,
    Thank you very much for sharing your thoughts with me.
    I love my country it is my comfort zone after all, but there is alot more to life alot more to learn alot more to see, feel, hear.
    Ignorance to me is extremely unattractive.

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