Mais tu n’es pas là..

ET SI JE RÊVE TANT PIS….

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=oCdvDzC5Lws

Heard Camélia Jordana’s rendition of this song on Nouvelle Star and now I’m hooked.

Oui,
“but you are not here you are not here you are not here..”
How many times have one murmured this to oneself?
On a solitary voyage..in the still of the night.
Mais tu n’es pas là…
my mum, the father I’ve not seen for a decade or more,
my surrogate family à Tokyo,
the friends who share my laughter,
the heart of my life, YOU YOU YOU.
the island I’ve fallen deeply in love with..
Oh how I love Venice
and Paris.
Europe,
you break me with your beauty.

Hélas..
Distance and Time.
2 fundamentals of communication.

QUAND TU T’EN VAS
je dors plus la nuit.

*I don’t take myself very seriously. But it does not mean you can be disrespectful.
I expect a certain level of politesse in emails.
I am not your friend or the same Sharon Au who tolerates subtle attacks of insinuation.
You are so yesterday.
And I have moved on. Clearly.
Je m’en fiche.*

田野辺さんへ、

ユキ！！元気かい？？
今京都にいるですね。。いいなあ。。
この９ヶ月間色々な事があったんですよね。
私は時々気が短くて、感情の起伏が激しくて、ユキが大変我慢してくれて、
ありがとうというより、ごめんなさいね！
今度また早稲田で縁を続けます。

ご両親によろしくお伝えてください！！！
お母さんは私に送っていただいてお土産をまだ大切にしていますわ！
愛しのチヒロちゃんも元気？
ところで、イヌちゃんはもう大丈夫？

今週末ユキはAdrienに会えて良かった！私の代わりに彼にキースしてあげて！！
ジロはユキに会いたいって！

AHHHHHHHHHH!

I MISS YOU AMILUS et YUKI!!!!!!!!!!!

Goodbye Amilus Chou.

I miss you already..

其實真的很遺憾，我們聊天的機會不夠。
怪我只顧著功課要不就是拍拖，跟女生在一起的時間少之又少。
朋友常說我重色輕友，真的沒有錯。

在所有留學生當中我確實覺得你最了解我。
有時候我話沒說到盡，你卻已經明白我的意思。

你知道嗎，很多時候我一個人在房間里悶得發慌，
好寂寞，誰都不想見，只想找你傾訴。
可是卻不敢去吵你。
怕邪魔。。

很好笑。
我們比這里的日本人還更日本！
在這認識的日本人很多時候一點遠慮都沒有，嚇死人！
反而我們這唯一兩個外人卻處處怕麻煩別人！

沒機會好好的告別。
昨晚因為看不到你一個人在J的家一直哭！
你要保重。
我一定會去倫敦找你和姐姐！

等我！！

Could someone teach me how to say NO?

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=RnwZoIHrfAY

When I need to calm down.
This is my elixir.

no no no NO NO NO NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!
PLEASE  go away.

It is useless screaming AT your blog you stupid turkey,
learn to say NO to:
bureaucratic bêtes, shallow imbéciles, ignorant fous, selfish sots.

Do something you stupid fool and stop getting bullied and being taken advantage of
your whole freaking life
WOMAN!

Instead I screamed at an innocent person who was just trying his best to love me.
I’m so sorry I screamed at you J.
I am so sorry I stormed around Ikea and threw boxes at you.(OK just one box and one magazine..)

I am a monster.
And you just stood there loving me.
Je suis vraiment désolée mon coeur..
Tu ne m’en voudras pas?

1D

1W

1L

ENHUI turns 21!!!

When we first met…April 2007 à Tokyo …Placement test 早稲田で！

May 2008  モンジャヤキ on the boat…

December 2008 à Lyon…Brasserie Georges!!
(I still feel awful leaving you alone in Lyon in my prison-cell-room).

お誕生日おめでとう！！！

いつも助けてくれて、応援してくれて、食べさせて、

ありがとう。。

知り合ってからもう２年経った！

文句がいっぱいこと、(過度に)感情に訴えること、私は逆に子供っぽいだな。。

そんなに年上なのに。

You have never once judged me, (except initially when you must have thought I was yet another bimbo actress haha),
even though you are one of the most critical friend I know, (I secretly think you have french blood in you..).
You have never laughed at my silly relationship upheavals and over the top dramatic tears.
Maybe you did laugh, yes you laughed with me.
But you don’t mock me.

Who says one can’t find true friends once one has grown older?
My historical-dinosaur-age-old buddies (see Daniel) will tell you life is terrible with Sharon or simply Sharon is terrible.
But I guess you already know that.

I have very few friends I could call my own, but those few I have..
you guys..
are the crème de la crème.

HAPPY BIRTHDAY.

MANY MANY MANY MORE MEMORIES WE WILL SHARE!!!

All’s well..ye say

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=eUwTdqPkluY

and all is necessary..

–Voltaire.

This song tears one’s souls apart.
One feels the grief of time passing, fond regrets, lovers’ goodbyes and legacy of pain and loss.

Mais..
“demain il fera jour”..

EXAMS!
5 more papers to go!!!
YOU GO WOMAN!!

後記＞
私たちの考えには大きな距離があるので、もういいや、確かに戻りたくなくなる。
ごめん、軽蔑にも値しない、まるで違う世界の人間のように、もう合わないから。
おまえは唯物論者で、そのうえ、何で失礼なんだ。
嫌い。
それぞれの道に従ってください。

One Night Only.

22 avril.
Le spectacle de la danse!!!!

It was unforgettable mes chers camarades de danse!
What an adrenalin rush-18 chorégraphies-quick change-KICK ASS-night!

Yes the audience loved us.
Oh and how I laughed.
Can’t remember the last time I rocked the stage but yes I had a blast.

Et,
merci beaucoup à tous..décidément c’est le meilleur souvenir de ma vie à Lyon 3.

Thank you everyone for cheering us on!
Amilus, Yuki, Naoko, Nanami, Yuri, Yoann, Elisa, je suis touchée que vous soyez venus!!!

♥ J, ta presence m’a encouragé tellement!
J’ai toujours le sourire aux lèvres grâce à toi..=)
Je me suis éclatée!!!!

KISSES to all!!

tant que nous avons la foi.

” Trauma always leaves a scar.

It follows you home, it changes our lives.

Trauma messes everybody up… but maybe that’s the point.

All the pain all the fear all the crap..

maybe going through all that is what keeps us moving forward,

is what pushes us.

Maybe we have to get a little messed-up

before we can step up.”

—grey’s anatomy.

お二人！！４ヶ月記念日おめでとう！！

I wanna be your bridesmaid votre demoiselle d’honneur!!!

Adrienはいつも美人たちに囲まれてるね！

Au revoir, Adrien.

Bon chance et aussi bon courage à Tokyo.

Tant que nous avons la foi..on se reverra un jour.

un sinistre pressentiment

“C’était l’heure

où le chagrin s’ouvre quelque part,

comme un pétunia,

pour l’insomnie”

–Léon-Paul Fargue

Je ne le désire plus…Elle n’a point de l’âme et son peuple est moche et ignorant.

Je ne veux plus l’agent la renommée ni ta reconnaissance. Je vous demande juste simplement de me donner la tranquillité  de l’esprit. Ne pénétrez jamais s’il vous plaît dans l’ intimité de moi.

J’écris pour les gens généreux qui aiment la vie, qui ont un coeur ouvert aux idées neuves, et qui m’aiment. Pas pour que vous pouvez discuter ou bavader sur ma vie. C’est dégueulasse. Désolée mais je ne le supporte PAS DU TOUT.

Chacun son goût.

Vivez votre propre vie s’il vous plaît.

NE OUBLIE PAS QUE CHACUN MÉRITE D’ÊTRE RESPECTÉ.

La courtoisie de base. C’est tout.

Vous y devez venir. Grand café des Négociants.

When the rain
Is blowing in your face
And the whole world
Is on your case
I could offer you
A warm embrace
To make you feel my love

When the evening shadows
And the stars appear
And there is no one there
To dry your tears
I could hold you
For a million years
To make you feel my love

I know you
Haven’t made
Your mind up yet
But I would never
Do you wrong
I’ve known it
From the moment
That we met
No doubt in my mind
Where you belong

I’d go hungry
I’d go black and blue
I’d go crawling
Down the avenue
No, there’s nothing
That I wouldn’t do
To make you feel my love

The storms are raging
On the rolling sea
And on the highway of regret
Though winds of change
Are throwing wild and free
You ain’t seen nothing
Like me yet

I could make you happy
Make your dreams come true
Nothing that I wouldn’t do
Go to the ends
Of the Earth for you
To make you feel my love

HEUREUSE ST.VALENTIN À TOUS.

欺善怕惡

When I was growing up, I’ve been told that there are good and bad people.The pure and the evil.

The sisters in my convent school did console me, however, that as long as one stands straight, tall and upright, be steadfast in faith, virtuous in duty, truthful, loyal, and be a walking testimony of all things Godly, nothing can/will harm you.

Well.

er hum..

I turn to poetry again to seek some form of relief and understanding.Nothing else could do a better job, not friends, not mothers, not prayers. You have to sort it out in your own ways. I used to cry in the shower when I feel under the weather, I still do but less often now. Instead, the literary world offers all that I need.

Chanson. By Alfred de Musset.

J’ai dit à mon coeur, à mon faible coeur:
N’est-ce point assez d’aimer sa maîtresse?
Et ne vois-tu pas que changer sans cesse,
C’est perdre en désirs le temps du bonheur.

Il m’a répondu: Ce n’est point assez,
Ce n’est point assez d’aimer sa maîtresse;
Et ne vois-tu pas que changer sans cesse
Nous rend doux et chers les plaisirs passés?

J’ai dit à mon coeur, à mon faible coeur:
N’est-ce point assez de tant de tristesse?
Et ne vois-tu pas que changer sans cesse,
C’est à chaque pas trouver la douleur?

Il m’a répondu: Ce n’est point assez,
Ce n’est point assez de tant de tristesse;
Et ne vois-tu pas que changer sans cesse
Nous rend doux et chers les chagrins passés?

STOP

BULLYING

PEOPLE.

PLEASE.

YOU

BIG

CORPORATE

BULLY.